I co-founded and operated Our Yoga Family, Bozeman’s family yoga studio for 3 years. We opened 5 months before the COVID shutdown. We pivoted over and over again, and supported so many moms and families during one of the toughest times we’ll ever know.
We worked with hundreds of pregnant women, offered postpartum and baby yoga, toddler yoga, kids yoga, you name it. We offered a Prenatal Yoga Teacher Training that Yoga Alliance was so impressed with they said it should be the new standard for prenatal yoga teacher trainings. We provided community and sanity for so many mothers. We had a really good thing.
But in 2022, our building sold. And I did a lot of soul searching to try to listen to what needed to come next. Read a glimpse into how I came to that decision by reading a bit of my story here (written end of 2022).
7 years. 7 years I’ve been teaching prenatal yoga. 6 years I’ve been a doula. 7+ years I’ve cared for another little human (inside the womb + out).
When I got surprise pregnant, my world was rocked so hard. I went from free spirit traveler who was mostly always single (before Dave) to making truly the one commitment you can never take back (knowing I wanted a baby so it made sense to have one). It challenged my thinking, my identities, my values, my purpose, my desire to feel totally, utterly free.
It also anchored me, showed me what home is, manifested so much abundance into my life, gave me purpose, provided new paths, helped me grow roots that soaked in nourishment, steadiness, and grew branches higher than I ever could’ve imagined.
I’ve always been one to teach (yoga) where I’m at. I share what I’m currently going through and learning. It’s what keeps me passionate, inspired, and connected to source.
After the Our Yoga Family prenatal yoga teacher training we created, facilitated and ran this year …
I had this niggling feeling that I had set out what I’d accomplished to do and now staying there was holding me back, and that I needed to quench myself with what was next.
Bella is in an entirely different stage now and it almost felt like being 100% devoted to early motherhood was keeping me there, instead of allowing me to grow.
To dive headfirst into my next breadth of spirituality, of growth as a family, of new adventures.
But a larger part of me felt there was no way I could leave this incredible space I had created, devoted entirely to new motherhood.
But the Universe kept telling me yes. And I kept saying but surely that’s not really the message???
And one day, I told the Universe. Okay, I’m really struggling today. Can you please just give me some good news and clarity today? I really need it. I don’t ask for this often, but today it’s needed.
And wouldn’t you know it later that day we were told the building our studio in was being sold (a whole other story I’m not going into here).
I was shocked. That is NOT what I was expecting. That’s the good news?
At first I thought that meant different space, more pivoting (which we’ve become quite good at, seeing as we were shut down due to COVID 5 months after opening – we all know how the years that followed have been).
But the thing is, I don’t mind new direction. It’s lack of clarity that bothers me.
So I spent a long time begging for clarity. Meditating. Psychics. Intuitives. They all told me different versions of the same thing- time to move on.
But no way was I ready to give in yet. Surely that wasn’t reallllly the message..
Oh and the knee surgery (I had major knee surgery insummer of 2022)!
My body was saying okay, well fine, if you won’t step away and dive deep into your own healing, and trust this new direction, we’ll do it an intense, yet very loving way.
Things after that just got clearer and clearer. Finally the pendulum swung in the other direction and I realized just how much holding that physical space was draining me instead of fulfilling me.
I’d ask, but why do it then? And the answer – was always obligation. I felt obligated to my community. People depend on this studio, on what we offer, on being there when they need us, on having. a mindful, fun space for kids and new moms.
And over tears of joy and happiness I’ve slowly switched my obligations back to me.
To being in flow. To knowing my true north.
To letting some things go, so new sacred space could be created.
Our studio has always excelled in workshops and retreats, and they’ve been our bread and butter.
And to be honest workshops, retreats, and in depth sessions are where I thrive as a guide, mentor, healer, teacher.
And our building selling was what finally flipped the pendulum. It’s okay to let go. To move on to what’s next. To make space for even more of what currently fulfills me.
It felt so drawn out and long, making this decision (agonizing and begging for clarity for the better part of a year). And yet so sudden and quick at the same time (actually making the decision in the span of a week).
Since I’ve decided to dive in and switch gears, my private practice has been thriving, my health has felt better than ever, my intuition is crystal clear once more.
And I haven’t lost sleep over feeling stress since.. well I don’t really remember. But I used to. Plenty.
And now I have this 6.5 year old (!!!). Who teaches her own yoga classes, guides meditation, and gives me the best damn adjustments I’ve ever received (seriously, it’s magic).
We are in a completely different stage of life. We are all massively growing as a family, and yet also steadier than ever, and it’s so nice to be in that together.
Instead of feeling like I’m constantly being held back in a stage that no longer fits, now I feel like I have space to grow into what’s next.
It feels b a l a n c e d.
I’ll always be a doula. I’ll always enjoy sharing prenatal and postpartum yoga with every fiber of my being. But now it will be a part of what I do. Instead of all of what I do.
And to be honest once we decided to close, I had a massive wave of healing happening – my body cried and released the scary stress that it carried in running a studio, geared towards sensitive populations, in these last few years.
I didn’t expect that.
But finally I didn’t feel like I had to be brave for everyone else all the time. I could just be brave for me.
Now I’m ready. I’m here. I’m listening. I’m growing. I’m shaking things up. It’s been scary. It’s been exhilarating.
But most of all it’s been bringing me back to an even deeper sense of me.
One where I can listen with ease, instead of deny with dis-ease.
I am so fucking thankful for this year. For these last 7 years.
I’m so glad I tumbled into the deep end of motherhood and found myself there.
And I can’t wait to see what the next me is becoming.
(This is obviously not the whole story, but it is a big glimpse into my personal story. And I finally felt ready to share that. I love you all. Thank you for listening. For being here with me. I can’t wait to see where it takes us all next!)