August 16, 2019
Selfcare, Astrology & Intuition as a Mama
August 16, 2019
Selfcare, Astrology & Intuition as a Mama
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I haven’t written on here in quite some time!

Honestly I was going to write all of this in an Instagram post and it just didn’t give me the breadth I needed.

I want to chime in about a few things I’m reminded this week.  Monday was my 33rd birthday. I had just spent the week guiding my first ever overnight retreat. I’m now on call for a birth as a doula. And in 2-3 more weeks I am opening Our Yoga, a family yoga studio, along with my business partner Becca. 

Lots to celebrate! But also a decent amount of stress.

On the night of my birthday, Squeaks started to develop a fever. This has been her tendency. She really doesn’t get sick much aside from spiking high fevers (like 104/105) for 4-5 days at a time accompanied with very swollen glands. It’s never strep, her ears are always great, and there are literally no other symptoms. It’s always so hard to see her so miserable.


The night after my birthday, I had a plan to go to the hot springs with a couple of my best girlfriends. I had to tear myself away from Squeak as she really didn’t want me to leave and she was obviously struggling. But alas she was with Dave and I knew I needed to refuel as well.

Here’s the thing though: I felt guilty. Seriously I was sitting there trying to enjoy myself and instead I just felt bad.

It reminded me that the practice of selfcare doesn’t necessarily get easier. Overall, yes now I have more time and space for myself. But prioritizing our needs still takes time and effort and the decision to put ourselves forward. I sat there, in a hot springs, getting a neck massage from a friend, sitting in the sunshine, and it hit me – why am I sitting here feeling guilty and wondering if I’m a horrible mom when I damn well know I should allow myself to receive. That I’d spend the rest of the week give, give, giving as Dave went back to work and I’d be with Squeak 24/7.


That night I got home and revisited her birth chart. I actually read when she was a baby that she would be prone to high fevers, sensitive Pisces that she is. Reading her chart affirmed so much for me. That she would instantly take or not take to the energy of those around her, being such a strong natural empath. And also that she would need to be held. A lot. Especially as a toddler and at night. I’ve spent way too much time beating myself up for all the cuddles and coddling at bedtime. She ends up in our bed or we end up in hers a lot of the time. And this reminded to me stop the struggle. I do need a lot of space when I sleep. But I also adore her cuddles. And what she needs is connection, is tenderness, is a way to release energy that involves physical touch. There’s always a balance.

The unknown and asking for help

I spent a bit of time that night also terrified – it is so freaking hard to feel out of control and have to surrender. I wonder if something is really wrong? Why does this keep happening?

A couple days later and now I realize the supplements my intuition and research told me to give her helped. This time her fever was way less intense for so long. And later today we will go to see a new naturopath, just to be sure we’re doing everything right and not missing anything. What’s more important than the health of your child?

I always tell moms in prenatal – we know far more than we think we do in terms of our bodies and our child’s needs. Most of the time we just need to slow down and be willing to listen. 

And if we don’t know, then that’s where we ask for help! We must turn to those we trust and let them guide us in the ways we need. For me, that is 

  •  friends who nurture me even when I’m struggling to be chill 
  • astrology that always reminds me there is a bigger picture (and I could stand to be a little less hyper focused)
  • and an ability to reach out and ask for help in new ways.

We’re all here to support each other. I’ve found when we’re real with our own struggles, and open about that (to people we trust), people rush in to hold the space for us. Life is never so alone as we tend to make it out to be in our heads.

So my practice this week is the same I’m encouraging all of you:

Notice where you’ve been prioritizing others over the needs of yourself. How can you step it up and stop any negative self talk that you’re not deserving enough?

Look into astrology for you and your little! Seriously I always learn so much. Google. Buy Linda Goodman’s ‘Sun Signs’. Or leave a comment here and I’ll try to point you in the right direction!

Remember to ask for help. To trust your intuition, and when that intuition says go to this person, give your daughter more hugs, or try a new doc – don’t second guess, just go with it.

You’ve got this, mama (said to myself as much to anyone else ;))!

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