A Blessing Way is a sacred pre-birth ceremony that celebrates a woman’s rite of passage into motherhood. Those attending celebrate sisterhood, the welcoming of a new baby and honor a women’s journey into motherhood. [source: wildrootsstudio.com]
I love blessing ways.
I think honoring this rite of passage, with the focus on the new mother, is such a beautiful, meaningful and fun way to honor what’s to come.
What’s the difference between a Blessing Way and a Baby Shower?
A baby shower is often about receiving new gifts for the baby, playing games, etc.
I think baby showers can be lovely. And a lot of couples can really use the support in building up their must have’s for before baby comes. Let’s do that for them!
However I also feel they are often more surface level, and not really providing the deeper nourishment and support a new mama ought to receive.
So, what’s a blessing way all about then?
A blessing way, to me, is all about supporting the mother.
It’s about building her up, letting her know you have her back, you are her village, and that you are there for her during the times she’s going to need it most as she transitions from maiden to mother.
Blessing ways get to be done your way.
I think some people avoid these types of ceremonies because they find them perhaps too fluffy, or they’re uncomfortable going deeper. But if you’re on my site, you’re probably someone who’s looking for more authenticity, more ceremony, more ritual.
To me the most important aspects of a blessing way are:
- letting mama to be know you are her village and she can reach out to you, and that you’ll be checking in on her
- showering her with deep compliments, genuine appreciation, and all the reasons you think she is going to be an amazing mother
What a beautiful thing for a woman to be receive all of the reasons she is going to be a great mother, exactly as she is.
Pregnancy can be full of a lot of unknowns, a lot of decision overwhelm, a lot of truning your world upside down.
And these words, these genuine affirmations from those we love and trust, these reminders we are part of a bigger village – well they go a really long way to feeling confident in our path. It can melt away some of the stressors and unknowns, which makes everything smoother.
Here are some of my favorite things to do at a blessing way:
- drink cacao and do a bit of a mindful moment / meditation / grounding
- do a welcome circle with your names (as needed), and have everyone shower well wishes on kind reflections on the mama to be
- share the best advice you ever got while pregnant, as a new mama or mama to be, sticking to advice that actually helped
- massage mama’s hands and feet
- make flower crowns, candles, salve, an earthy craft of any sort. Especially anything mama can keep and be reminded of the love showered upon her on this day!
- share nourishing, feminine, fun food (think good fats and proteins, fruits, herbal teas, good coffee, chocolate). Let everyone contribute instead of doing it all yourself, unless you want to!
You can go way more in depth into these activities, but to be honest I like to keep things on the simpler side.
Kind, encouraging words for mama.
Ways to let her know she can lean on you.
That, to me, is honoring her rite of passage.
And something all women should be lucky enough to receive.
Also know that if you are new to a community, or a lot of your people aren’t into this type of thing, then it’s okay to keep it super small and intimate. Even just one or 2 friends to do this together can be so powerful and beautiful!
And once you’re on the other side, be sure to also consider having a Mother’s Way.
This is a similar ceremony, but this time with the mama sharing her birth story.
Same good food, good company, good grounding and connecting moments.
But with space for her to share what’s now her story. To meet baby. To bring yummy food and flowers. And if you do this at her house, just be sure to clean up after or bring an extra meal for the freezer, so there’s nothing extra for her to do after and she’s left even better supported than when you came.
May we all come back to these ancient ceremonies, and know that sharing is healing.